


ShortStuff

by Sandywolf



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-30
Updated: 2011-07-30
Packaged: 2017-10-21 23:36:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/231132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandywolf/pseuds/Sandywolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is the smallest, shortest troll. John loves it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ShortStuff

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, I'm terrible with these characters someone stop me.

“Hey, Karkat? Why are you so short?”

“Why are you such a stupid fucking moron?”

“Oh, c'mon man, it's a perfectly legitimate question.”

“How is that even slightly justifiable? If anything it's just a goddamn insult.”

John's eyes are rolling, teeth poking out of his lips as he just grins that stupid grin, and Karkat can't stand it when he does that. He reaches over and flicks the boy in the head, perhaps a bit too roughly, but John only sticks his tongue out at him, “Everyone else is so tall, I mean, just look at Gamzee! He's probably two heads taller than you are.”

“I honestly didn't think you could piss me off anymore than you already had. But congratulations, you've ascended to level two. I'm officially _seething_. Your prize is a fist to the protein chute, so open wide.”

“ _Karkat_.” John whines, and the troll just stares, fingers pausing on his keyboard. “Why are you so _mean_?”

“Why do you ask so many damn questions? Did your Lusus forget to teach you any manners whatsoever? Is your think pan so horrendously empty that you can't help but compulsively ask questions despite the fact that you know they're _ridiculous_?”

John stares blankly, “Your lips are moving, but all I hear is _bluh bluh bluhhh_. It's almost like I'm talking to Rose here.”

Karkat smashes the keys beneath his fingertips and spins away from John, focusing on his screen as he grinds out, “Don't even think of comparing me to your race.”

For one blissfully quiet moment, John is silent, leaning back in his seat as he stares, his own computer dark and quiet. He never really had a reason for sitting at it to begin with, besides the fact that it just so happened to be the one beside Karkat himself. His eyes scan the room, taking in the other three occupants, and waves cheerily as Jade walks in with Nepeta. She takes little notice of him, too busy whispering in the troll girl's ear, and they both laugh as they find their seats and begin scribbling on that always present drawing pad.

He wonders what's on it for half a second before Karkat smashes a key just a bit too hard and the whole computer locks up.

“Goddamn cheap ass piece of shit. _Sollux_!”

“Sollux isn't in here.” John says, voice sing-song as he spins in his chair. “He left with Feferi not too long ago, actually.”

“Of course he did. Of _course_ he did.” Karkat pushes away from his computer and once again John can't help but marvel at just how _short_ the troll is, how, in comparison, everyone else seems entirely too large.

He blinks out of his thoughts just as Karkat starts to walk away, he calls after him,”Wait!” Then scrambles to catch up, nearly tripping over himself in the process.

Karkat doesn't wait for him, and John doesn't really expect him to. But he catches up all the same, breathless and grinning like the derpy little nerd he is.

Hands shoved deep in his pockets, posture slouched, Karkat pays him little attention, too tired to do anything but walk, and, hopefully, chew on Sollux' ass once he finds him. But the way John is staring at him, and he can definitely feel those bright blue eyes on his face, begins to unnerve him much more quickly than he's willing to admit.

“Wow,” he hears John say. “You are really, really short. I mean, look at you!”

And of all the things John could do, of all the little touches and gestures he could have made to accentuate his point, he does the very last thing Karkat would have ever expected.

John's hand is centered squarely between his horns, palm warm and smooth and fucking _perfect_ as the boy ruffles his hair. His entire body is frozen, fingers itching to wrap themselves around Egbert's throat, but then that hand is passing over the ridges of one horn and it's all he can do to keep himself upright.

It lasts for half a second, but it's easily the longest he's ever had the misfortune of being frozen in. And as that delicious tension leaves his body he watches John's hand travel in a straight line as it finally connects with his own chest.

“Yeah,” John concludes, completely oblivious to the flush on Karkat's face. “Yeah... you're definitely a scrawny guy, huh? I mean, you're hardly an inch taller than Nepeta.” His hand descends an inch or two, stops, “She was to about, hm, here I guess. But she's a girl troll, unless it's opposite with you guys. Do girls usually get taller than guys or – hey, you're really red. Are you feeling okay?”

“Shut the fuck up, Egbert.” Karkat growls, but he's more embarrassed than anything, even though anger is an incredibly close second. “Your freakish height means nothing to me, and I don't fucking care how tall Nepeta is, or how you even _know_ that. Just leave me alone so I can find Sollux and for the love of your human _Jesus_ , never touch me again!”

He's positive that _that_ should be the end of that, that surely John couldn't possibly stretch the point any further. But to his dismay, John lets out a pathetically wibbly human noise, “Aw! Karkat, why didn't you just say so?!”

“Say what? What the fuck are you talking about?”

The hair on his neck curls when John giggles, reaches out to him, and attempts to pull him closer, “You're embarrassed about how short you are, aren't you? They probably teased you about it all the time, huh?”

“They did no such thing.” Karkat growls, pushing John's hands away. “And don't touch me, this isn't some stupid human romcom, fuckass.”

“It could be.” John says, completely serious, and Karkat shoves him just a bit, letting loose a strangled, frustrated sound.

“Don't patronize me. I don't need your fucking pity.”

He tries to leave, and John finally lets him, smiling that ever-present smile. But it's impossible for him to let anyone have the final word, so even as the troll rounds the corner and steps up to the silver-gray plating of the transportalizer, John calls out to him, voice echoing off the walls, “There's nothing wrong with being tiny, Karkat!”

But the cancer doesn't turn, just steps onto the plate and grumbles to himself as he's carried elsewhere.

\- - -

John understands why Karkat is so upset about his height. When he himself was a child, well, more of a child than he'd been when they'd begun the game, all his classmates had towered over him. _He_ had always been the short, scrawny one, picked last for games in gym class, picked on by boys and girls alike, and generally, no, _literally_ looked down upon by everyone who wasn't his Dad.

But the game had changed him, had matured him and enhanced his growth. And now, now it was _his_ turn to loom over everyone else.

Except the trolls, because they were all ridiculously taller than him. In most cases, at least.

If anything though, Karkat's height just made him more well, more _endearing_ , he guessed. If he was a troll, he supposed his feelings would be considered... what had they called it? He tips his head, tongue sticking out in thought, then decides that it must have been _fresh_. Yes, he was definitely fresh for Karkat, whatever that meant. It was hard not to be, what with all that had happened.

But man, troll romance was so confusing.

But he doesn't press the fact, just ogles at how short Karkat is when they all meet up for dinner. They're standing in line, waiting for Nepeta to call them all to order, because it had been _her_ idea to eat together as a family of sorts. John takes his seat in the floor by Karkat's tray and smiles, grinning from ear to ear as Karkat just glares at him, fingers twitching as if to say, _I want to choke you so badly right now but Nepeta would surely throw a fit about it because it's not a very nice thing to do during dinner so take it outside Karkitty!_

As it seems, Nepeta is the last one to bounce in, Jade only a few paces in front of her, and with a quick, “ _Purr_ fect!” she motions for them to begin their meals.

“So, Karkat,” John begins slowly, voice quiet so Vriska, who is too entirely close to him, cannot hear. “what are the chances of you growing another few inches or so?”

“You've got to be _shitting_ me.” Karkat growls, eyes hollow and tired as he meets John's. A few heads turn in their direction, the prospect of an upcoming fight too exciting to ignore. “We're really going to continue this conversation?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on how nicely you answer the question.”

John is all smiles, his poker-face almost as perfect as Dave's, and Karkat's eyes are daggers against his as he slowly leans in the boy's direction, voice low and dangerous, “You're about to get my foot up your ass, so go ahead, keep talking. I want to see if you have the fucking nerve.”

Blinking, John's smile falters for half a second, and Karkat is convinced he's finally won, finally shut up John Egbert, the boy who never shuts up. But before he has the chance to resume his meal and gloat in peace, that smile is crawling back full force, and John goes so far as to poke him in the cheek, “You're kind of cute when you're mad. Little Karkat, short and nubby and whoa, hey, that hurt, why would you do that?”

Nursing his bleeding finger, John pulls away, pouting when Karkat licks his lips of the blood dripping down them, sharp teeth flashing, “I'm done here.”

Karkat storms off, food forgotten, leaving John and the others staring after him. The boy can feel their eyes on him, blushing a bit, “What?”

“I never knew you were so good at pissing people off, Egderp. I guess I should be impressed.”

“Oh, shut up, Dave. He's not mad.”

“He's totally mad.” Nepeta chirps, smiling, and Jade smiles anxiously. A murmur of agreement follows her words, and for the first time, John begins to worry. “I was just messing with him. I _am_ an esteemed prankster, I'll have you know.”

“But does _he_ know that?” Vriska asks him, and maybe she doesn't really care, but John does, and, worrying at his lip, he stands, “Maybe I _should_ go apologize then. I'll see you guys later.”

\- - -

So that's how he finds himself standing outside Karkat's door, rehearsing apologies and nibbling his lower lip relentlessly. All he was trying to do was be friendly, or, well, maybe he was flirting, whatever that was, but he'd only made Karkat angrier with him, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Okay, so he'd teased him just a bit too much. Alright, maybe more than a bit, but it had been worth it to see those hollow gray cheeks light up for just a second.

His knuckles are just about to rap on the door when suddenly it swings open, and Karkat is standing there, eyes wide, hand still on the handle. He's just as surprised as John is, and he almost slams the door shut once more but John's foot is already there, holding it open, fumbling for words, “Oh, um, hi Karkat! Funny seeing you here.”

“This is my bedroom, dumbfuck.”

“Oh. Right. That would explain a few things.”

“You've got three seconds to tell me what you want, and then I'm going to tear your foot off and shove it down your protein chute. That oughta shut you up, right?”

“I guess it would.” John chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

“Two seconds.”

“Oh, uh, right.” He can feel the door tightening on his foot, and it aches painfully for a moment as his mind trips over itself. That's why, when he finally decides what to say, it's more of a shout than anything, “I'm sorry!”

“Sorry doesn't mean shit, Egbert.”

“I really meant it though.”

“What, that you're sorry? Or that you think I'm cute and nubby and _ugh_ , I can't believe I just said that. I can literally hear my think pan sizzling.”

“You _are_ cute though. And uh, I really like you. I mean, how short you are at least, that's why I was trying to make you feel better about it by – Hey! Ow, you're hurting my foot there.”

The troll pushes the door harder, and his emotions are playing out like a movie on his cheeks, brighter than John has ever seen them as he struggles to pull his foot free. “That's the point, you moron! Get out of here already!”

“But Karkat, I just -”

The look on the troll's face is one of desperation now, the door wriggling this way and that as Karkat tries to physically remove John from the premises.

His foot suddenly slips free of his footwear and John is thrown backwards, shoe disappearing as the door slams shut with a deafening echo. The hallway is quiet and John's expression resembles that of a kicked puppy, but the door remains closed and all that's left is for him to do is brush himself off and try again later.

He tries to stay positive, despite the ache in his toes; at least he had the chance to apologize.

Not really wanting to see what Karkat will do if he comes out later and finds him still sitting there, he decides it's probably best to wait until sometime tomorrow, after the troll's had time to sleep his anger off. Standing, he pats himself down then turns to leave, but the door suddenly explodes inward once more, and John catches a flash of gold before something hits him right between the eyes and the world goes dark.

\- - -

Okay, so they were both idiots. John for taking things to the extreme, or at least as extreme as you can get when dealing with an incredibly volatile troll, and Karkat had, well, almost killed him. But it had been an accident, and at least he hadn't left the boy out in the hallway! He'd taken it upon himself to at least drag him into his bedroom, which felt odd and wrong and _fuck_ was he pissed. Why did humans have to be so soft and weak and easy to knock into unconsciousness?

He felt like some sort of... some sort of molester or something, pulling John up onto his mattress, and it was all sorts of wrong as his head lolled back and something akin to a soft sigh left his parted lips.

“Fuck John, you fucking idiot, what the... what the _fuck_.” He hopes the kid will wake up soon, and that people won't come looking in the meantime, but just to be safe he closes and locks his door, which does nothing for his mindset because _Jegus_ this was uncomfortably close to being unbearably creepy.

And it was all John's fault. The fuckass. The retard. The... the moron...

He sat awkwardly at the kid's side, glaring daggers, teeth bared, but John was out cold and he was too damn tired to stay angry for more than a few minutes. So he relaxed a bit, still frowning, and just sat and _waited_.

… he was not short. How could John say that?! Why did he have to... okay, so he was kind of small, but fuck, did he have to point it out? Did he have to bring it up in front of his team, strip him of his dignity and fucking poke him in the face? He wanted to finish the job and just bash John's skull in while he had the chance, but there was something so innocent and small about him as he lay there... unconscious. So fucking unconscious and _fuck_ what if he didn't wake up?!

It occurred to him that maybe he should go get help, because there was clearly a bruise rising at the point of impact and really, why were humans so fragile in the first place? Had they really failed so fucking badly that their creations had been nothing short of pathetically useless?! What had gone wrong, he wondered, that had resulted in these weaklings, when the trolls themselves were so obviously superior?

Dwelling on it did no good, because all of the humans were gone anyway, and besides the bare few who remained on their stupid fucking meteor, there never would be. So he quieted and returned to the waiting game, eying Egbert's chest as he tried to block out earlier events.

Short his _ass_.

\- - -

John isn't sure where he is when the first flecks of awareness blossom behind his eyelids. He remembers, idly, eating dinner, and teasing Karkat, and then a long dark span of time in which nothing but the beat of his heart kept him company. But other than that, he's completely unsure of everything, and it doesn’t help that in the first few moments of consciousness he has absolutely no idea where he is.

Except he's not alone, and he wonders if Karkat's eyes have always glowed in the dark.

Then he remembers _oh shit Karkat_ and scrambles to get away, wanting to keep his organs intact, but the troll is just sitting there, watching him watch him back, and neither of them moves as John tries to calm his rapid pulse.

Karkat clears his throat first, but struggles, mouth opening and closing several times before he finally mumbles, “I uh, put your shoe back on.”

John blinks, confused, then peers into the darkness, trying to figure out what importance his shoe has to do with anything when suddenly his nose begins to ache and he remembers.

Oh. Right. Apologizing. Then getting beaned in the face. And... what then? Karkat... had he pulled him into his room? Or was this some sort of pit of death, in which Karkat would sacrifice him to some sort of troll God to earn an achievement or just... just _something_.

“Um. Thanks, I guess. Ah, hm...” He trails off, because Karkat still hasn't moved, and he remembers that his apology had fallen quite short and suddenly all he wants to do is pull the troll close and promise that he'll wait for him, and that someday they can both be the same height and -

He's rambling, but it's okay. His tongue is plush and heavy in his mouth, but he forces the words past his teeth, needing to get them out, “I really like you Karkat.”

And shit, that's not what he wanted to say at all.

“I mean, uh, because you're short. Or, well, I like that you're short. But... I said that already, so I guess I'm just reiterating. But! You're short, and it's cute, okay? So you don't... you don't have to feel bad or anything. What does height matter anyway? And ah, if it makes you feel any better, I was really short once, too. People used to tease me a lot, and it was so _bad_ , Dad would get so mad sometimes and he would bake cakes all night and it was terrible. So. I guess I'm asking for forgiveness or something?”

He pulls in a much needed breath and keeps it in, chest tight as he waits for something, _anything_ , and Karkat is staring at him as if he's just grown a second, third, and possibly _fourth_ head.

“You... are an _idiot_. You are the biggest fucking moron I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, and if I had the chance to go back in time and stop myself from throwing your smelly fucking shoe I would. Because... I just. I can't believe I'm hearing this.”

Of all things, John laughs, and laughs and laughs harder when Karkat's eyes go wide and confused and he pulls the troll close despite the fact that he's just asking for a beating.

“You kind of remind me of this cat I had once, Karkat.”

“The fuck? Are you seriously -”

“I remember trying to give it a bath once and it went crazy for no reason. I mean, it smelled! So I had to do something, but it acted like I was trying to skin it or something. It was a cute cat though, all gray and fluffy and small, and angry of course.”

“You are _not_ comparing me to a cat right now.”

John pulls him into a hug, which he's wanted to do from the very second they'd met face to face. Pesterchum hadn't been enough for him, his excitement in making a new best friend, and a new alien friend on top of that, too much to handle. And Karkat fits perfectly against him, even though he's sort of half-heartedly pushing to get away, claws dangerously close to ripping John's light blue hoodie, but he just pulls him closer and nuzzles.

“If you weren't short I wouldn't be able to cuddle you like this.”

“Fuck, I wish I was tall.” And if Karkat didn't sound so suddenly mopey, John might have released him and just given up, but he can tell that the troll is just sulking, and it makes it all the more important for John to reassure him.

“You're perfect the way you are, man.” He says, and Karkat stills. It doesn't help that John's cheek is rubbing against his horn in the very same way his palm had, and that it just feels so _fucking good_. He doesn't want to be treated like some stupid earth pet, but he tries to convince himself that it's _just a hug_ , and that, well, no ones looking. And that this is John, who, well, in the long run he... he isn't _that_ bad.

But that doesn't stop him from feeling terribly awkward as he raises a single hand and pats John's back, “Yeah, well... yeah.”

“And you smell good, too.”

“Egbert.”

“Plus your nubby little horns, it's almost too much for me.”

“Jegus, John, c'mon.”

“Mm, I really do like you.”

“I hate you. I hate you so _much_.”

“Love you too, Karkat.”

“You're killing me here, fuckbert.”

“You hit me in the face with my own shoe. You can just deal with it.”

“...”

“Mhm, that's what I thought.”

\- - -

No one comes looking for John, and while Karkat can only handle so much human affection in one night, he lets the boy stay. They share the bed, but the only touch they share is the brush of palms against one another, and that's okay, he supposes. In the morning he'll kick John's ass out and no one will be none the wiser.

But there will be something between them. Something different, and new, and weird, and while he's particularly fond of romcoms he tries not to compare his life to one when it's just so _early_.

He kind of hopes though. But just a little.

A smidge really.

But it's there, at least. And that's something.


End file.
